The Long-Standing Trait I’m Releasing In My Thirties

Simple Living

Oct 2

I had lunch with a friend last week, and she shared that one component of being in her thirties that she's loving is no longer feeling the need to please others.

Discover how I put that to the test myself just a few days later. →

Our conversation led me to reflect on a trait that I’m thankful to be releasing in my thirties: ambition.

My Phase of Ambition

For the longest time, I subscribed to hustle culture. I assumed that the harder I worked, the faster I’d find fulfillment.

In my teens and early twenties, it paid off. I bought my dream car at 15, started my business at 18, graduated from college at 19 with $0 in student loan debt, and went self-employed, bought a house, and got married at 21.

While I’m grateful for this ambition, a lot of it resulted in burn-out, continuously reaching for the next goal, and feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.

Graduating from college debt free may have allowed me to go self-employed and buy a house less than two years later, but it left me reeling from high levels of stress that I’m still working to come down from.

And because I achieved all of the major milestones at 21, when my friends started getting married, buying houses, and having kids in our late twenties, I felt envious of the praise they were receiving, and added unnecessary pressure on myself to perform. And because I didn’t want to buy a new house, get re-married, or have kids, that pressure landed on my business.

I compared where I was at to other business owners in the same field, which ended up being those who were popular on Instagram with hundreds of thousands of followers and six or seven-figure years.

As a result, I pushed myself to post weekly Instagram reels, YouTube tutorials, blog, and to “act like an influencer,” so I could sell my online courses and build passive income so eventually I wouldn’t have to work as hard anymore.

Unfortunately, those online courses rarely sold, and I had to continue offering marketing and web design services on top of creating all of the free, valuable content that I was hoping would sell my courses.

I was tired, hopeless, and resenting my business.

My Epiphany

One night, when I was feeling especially down about my business, I talked to my husband about it. He asked me this profound question: “Do you really want your courses to be successful?” As in, do I want to take on the work that goes along with them being successful: The course maintenance, answering questions in my Facebook group, customer service, and online marketing - especially social media.

Turns out, I don’t.

I want simplicity. I want to fully disconnect from work and to not worry about having to answer emails and DMs or lose a sale, and feel tapped into business when I check my personal Facebook account to discover a notification that someone left a question on my Facebook group.

How I’ve simplified my business

How It’s Going Sans Studio →

I’m Ditching This Offer →

Why I’m Discontinuing My Online Courses →

I Quit These Social Media Platforms →

Why I’m No Longer Writing on Medium →

My Simplicity Phase

The next day, I sent my students an email informing them that their course would no longer be active after 90 days.

I shifted my Instagram account away from being business-based, releasing the pressure I’ve felt to post.

I reflected on the platforms and channels I’ve been using, and determined that I actually do enjoy sending my email newsletters and writing on my blog, but I want to do it differently.

I Quit These Social Media Platforms →

While I’m still passionate about business and believe entrepreneurship is one of the best vehicles for living life on your terms, I believe there’s a softer approach.

Instead of hustling for six-figure years, shift your focus to what you want your life to feel like, and how your business can help you achieve that. You may not need to make as much money as you think.

I want to spend less time in front of a computer screen and more time engaging with real life. For me, that includes deep conversations and traveling with my husband, a cat on my lap while reading an engrossing book and sipping a cozy cup of tea, roller skating, connecting with nature on hikes, cross country skis, and ice skates, cooking as much from scratch as possible, and maybe even growing my own food.

I’m still figuring out the “making money” part, and I’m grateful to have a husband whose steady income allows me to do this. (And someday, I’ll return the favor and help him pursue his entrepreneurial dreams).

I do know, however, that my simple living phase includes inspiring others to pursue their own simple yet fulfilling lives, whether they wish to start a business or not.