'Cause nothin' lasts forever

My friend died a week ago. We weren't close, and it had been awhile since we talked, but the news was still a shock for me. He was good friends with my cousin, which is how I met him. His family had crammed into my house for a weekend in the notch, and we continued to talk after that. He'd tell me how many hoops he had scored in a game, and I'd laugh at how obsessed he was with Farmville. We'd talk about music, and jam to "Sweet Child O' Mine" together, even though he lived more than 100 miles away. "November Rain" makes me think of him.

I read through our messages the other day, and was upset to find that Facebook had deleted most of them. The few that were left still made me cry. It was two years ago that he told me his plans to take his girlfriend Black Friday shopping in Portland. I told him don't die.

His birthday was coming up, and I advised that 17 was a rough year because it's a long count to 18, and nothing exciting seems to happen. My birthday was a few months later, and I said I was planning on buying a lottery ticket.

Later, he asked if he could use personal pronouns in a narrative essay. I said yes; he was writing a memoir on the Red Sox game he went to the previous summer. I then told him that college is much easier than high school, because teachers (usually) don't assign homework over break. The last thing I ever wrote to him was "You're welcome. =)"

It may have been two years, but I can still remember how silly he was, and that he rarely complained about anything. I continued to like his graduation pictures, the time he went to a Portland Pirates game, and his excitement at buying a Mustang, but I never reached out to him.

It's amazing that the people we come across can still have an impact, even years later. I kept more in touch with his sister and saw her every so often, but for whatever reason, I think I was too shy to talk to him. This past week he's been on my mind, and how I wish I had at least asked what was new, or how he was doing. I don't have many regrets in life.

There are few things that are final, and those that are can be truly devastating. I can only imagine how his family and friends are feeling. My cousin was supposed to be in the car with him and the others. I've never believed in a god, and I don't think I ever could.
Meg BrownComment